EXT. CAFÉ - DAY
Jonah grabs his grandfather's hands and moves them away from his collar. His own forearm is covered in biro.
Stop. Hands down. Leave the collar, I'll do the collar. Okay. She gets here at four. It's three fifty one. That's nine minutes, and I've got eleven rules. They're on my arm. Don't look at my arm. Look at me.
Rule one. Do not mention the knee. Nobody on a first date wants to hear about the knee. I don't want to hear about the knee, and I love you.
Rule two. Ask her a question. Then, and this is the hard bit, wait. Don't answer it for her. You do that. You asked the man in the bakery if he was busy, then you said 'I bet you are' and walked out.
Rule three. If she orders cake, you order cake. If she doesn't, you don't order cake and then eat hers. That one's Gran's. Sorry. It's on my arm, though, so.
Rules four to seven are about the hat. Basically, no hat.
Rule eight, money. You pay. Unless she wants to pay. Then you argue, but not too much, two goes, and on the third go you let her win and you say, 'Next time, then.' That's how you get a next time. I read that.
Have you done one of these before? Apart from Gran? No? Me neither. Okay. So we're the same, then. That's fine. That's good, actually.
Why are you looking at the door. Is that her? The green coat? Okay. Forget the rules. Rule nine is breathe. I can't read ten and eleven, I've sweated on them.
Give me your hand. I'm writing 'ask a question' on it. Small, so she can't see. Go on. Go. I'll be at the bus stop. If it's bad, I'll cough.