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ComedyTeenpleadingquickaffectionate

Driving Test

Parked outside the test centre with the examiner's pen already moving, Toby sets out, in order, why the roundabout was not entirely his fault.

Casting
boy, 16 to 18
Duration
About 116 seconds
Difficulty
beginner
Setting
A stationary learner car in the test centre car park, engine off, a Tuesday morning in October.
Scene heading
INT. LEARNER CAR - TEST CENTRE CAR PARK - DAY
Content notes
Suitable for school auditions
Language
English
Role notes

Playing age: 16 to 18

Toby

Wants: Get the examiner to write 'partial' somewhere on the form, and get out of the car before his nan arrives.

Up against: Every fact he lays out makes the stopping look worse, and the true reason is the least defensible of all.

Choice prompts

  • Toby builds a legal case and then abandons it. Find the exact word where he gives up and just tells the truth.
  • His nan is offstage and getting closer. Let her progress across the car park set the pace of the last paragraph.
  • Decide whether Toby thinks he passed. It changes every line.
Full text

Driving Test

INT. LEARNER CAR - TEST CENTRE CAR PARK - DAY

Toby has both hands still on the wheel. He watches the examiner's pen out of the corner of his eye and turns, very carefully, to face them.

Toby

Can I just, before you write anything. I know the pen's already moving. I can see it moving. But I'd like the record to reflect the sequence of events, because the roundabout, on reflection, wasn't entirely me.

One. The signage. There's a sign that says Town Centre and an arrow that points, I would say, at a hedge. Two. The lorry. You saw the lorry. The lorry had opinions about which lane it was in and those opinions changed. Three, and I want to be fair to myself here, the mirror check was excellent. You said so. You said 'good' out loud. I heard it. That's on the record, in your voice.

And then there's the part I accept looks bad from the passenger seat, which is the stopping. Halfway round. With the indicator going the wrong way. I'm not going to insult you and say the car did that.

It was my nan. On the island. She does the flowerbeds for the council, Tuesdays, high vis, little kneeler thing. I came round the bend and she stood up and waved, with the trowel, with her whole arm, and you cannot not wave at your nan. You can't. Nobody can. There's no box on your form for that but there should be. I waved, the car did what cars do when you take a hand off, and the lorry, to its credit, was very understanding.

So. Partial responsibility. Shared with a woman of seventy four and a hedge. Tick whatever you need to tick, I won't argue. I'd just ask you to do it quite quickly, because she's finished the pansies and she's coming over, and if she asks how it went I need to already be out of this car.

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