INT. WEDDING MARQUEE - EVENING
Frankie stands with a stack of index cards, glances at the third one, and turns away from the room to face the groom.
Ben. Mate. I'm going to look at you for this bit, because your new mother in law is at table four and I've just realised card three is the Lanzarote one. I can't do card three. Cards four to nine all depend on card three. So we'll do it live. Everyone's had the fish, they're pliable.
I've known Ben since we were nine. He was the kid with the inhaler and very strong views on which dinosaur would win. Still is, on both counts. He is the reason I passed my theory test, he's the reason I didn't buy that van, and he is, and I want the room to hear this, the only person who has ever texted me 'home safe?' at two in the morning and actually stayed up for the answer.
This is the bit I shouldn't say. I was worried about today. Not about Priya. Priya is the best thing that has ever happened to you, everyone in this tent knows it, I watched her face during the vows and it was frankly a bit much. I was worried about me. Nine to thirty four is a long time to be someone's first phone call. I stood there this morning doing your buttonhole and I thought, right, that's it, that's the last time I'm the one straightening you up.
And then you said, 'Have you eaten,' and did the face. So. I'm fine. I've been demoted to second phone call and I'm going to be excellent at it.
Ben. Priya. The cards are going in the water jug. Glasses up. To the only two people in this room I would actually let drive my van.