The Seagull: Nina's monologue

I'm a seagull... No, that's not it. I'm an actress. Well, yes! And he's here too... Well, yes... It doesn't matter... Yes... He didn't believe in the theatre, he was always laughing at my dreams, and little by little I stopped believing too, and lost heart... And then there were the worries of love, the jealousy, the constant fear for the baby... I became small, worthless, I acted without any meaning... I didn't know what to do with my hands, I didn't know how to stand on a stage, I had no control of my voice. You don't know what it's like, when you can feel that you're acting terribly.

I'm a seagull. No, that's not it... Do you remember, you shot a seagull? A man happened to come along, saw it, and destroyed it, for want of anything better to do... A subject for a short story... That's not it...

What was I talking about?.. I'm talking about the stage. I'm not like that now... I'm a real actress now, I act with joy, with delight, I'm drunk with it on stage and I feel beautiful. And now, while I'm staying here, I keep walking, I walk and walk and think, I think and I feel my strength of spirit growing every day... I know now, Kostya, I understand, that in our work, it makes no difference whether we act on a stage or write, what matters isn't fame, isn't glamour, isn't the things I used to dream of, it's the ability to endure. Learn to carry your cross, and have faith. I have faith, and it doesn't hurt so much, and when I think about my calling, I'm not afraid of life.